Things are definitely better know, but schools in the UK still have a really long way to go. A lot of my day when I was a youth worker was arguing with schools whose only concern when it came to ADHD was attendance and behaviour…
You might think about giving them (and reading yourself) this book. It’s a little flaky at times, but gave me some insights in my own relationship.
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We have talked about therapy, mostly solo therapy for me, which I’m sure would open new venues for discussion. I’ve put in a lot more effort in the past few years and it has paid off, but I do find it very taxing to try and live like a normal human, hah. We’ll see, I might have to seek professional help at some point.
I will definitely read that book, thanks!
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Absolutely. That’s one reason I’m doing the thorough evaluation with a learning specialist. On the other hand, in terms of anxiety and depression (both of which I’ve dealt with), recognizing something like ADHD can also be beneficial because of the tendency these days just to throw pills at people. Probably a lot of folks on antidepressants could benefit from lifestyle, nutrition, etc. changes that would help them cope with the factors that are causing their symptoms.
(But, as always, anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses are real and people should definitely seek out trained professionals, as you suggest!)
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Me too! I’m really glad for everyone who has managed to find a sustainable and rewarding career/life that matches their neuro profile. Really sorry to hear about your experiences with teachers–I had some of those as well, but was fortunate to go to a school that was reasonably flexible for the time (the 80s, mostly). Things got better at university when I could focus on subjects and learning styles (discussion rather than lecture, writing essays rather than exams).
Somehow I’m an educator now myself (a professor–I think the varied and self-directed nature of that path worked for me) and it breaks my heart seeing really smart kids get denied access to higher education because of the inflexible system at lower levels.
One big lesson in the book is that often couples fight because the non-ADHD person simply can’t understand why their partner forgets to do things, seems “lazy,” etc. Not saying it is a magic cure, but as a good first step towards compassion and understanding I found it helpful (so did my partner).
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Yeah, I actually applied & was accepted into a college around 5 years ago, but dropped out after deciding to rather concentrate on music rather than a college degree (I worked full time while studying, so had to choose whether to spend my free time on school or music). I did well on my studies, so I know I’m at least capable of higher education, despite my abysmal grades as a kid. How different would it all have been had I had more support as a child? Who knows, I’m not one to dwell in the past but as I said, I am extremely happy that kids have more options today.
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I’m in the middle of this book right now! It’s very helpful. My GF has ADHD and it’s helping me understand her much better.
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I just wanted to update this thread by saying that I had a very thorough screening for ADHD and apparently I have it pretty bad (or good, depending on your perspective!). I don’t know if I’ll try meds, but I’ve been reading this book, which I’m finding very helpful–I wanted to recommend it for anyone here who might suspect it for themselves:
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To anyone ‘suffering’ from a busy mind, be it from ADHD or something else, or things like anxiety, I can recommend trying meditation. It has changed my life.
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Oh, absolutely. It can be very hard for ADHD-type people to follow through on meditation, but it’s probably much more effective than drugs. I’ve been trying to practice for years, and I’ll keep trying!
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Can I ask the method you use?
I know you didn’t ask me, but when I was in my early 20s I sat and stared at a wall for 20 minutes at a time. Lotus posture, make sure your spine is resting on itself and you’re set. Extremely boring. Did it pretty frequently for a few years and gradually stopped. Should start doing it again, if you work out using rest days for meditating is very convenient.
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I did a 10-day vipassana retreat some years ago, but failed to really develop a personal practice. It felt too rigid to me. I’ve currently been doing a lighter version of “mindfulness” meditation, focusing more on breathing and body awareness. It’s really all the same thing, at root, but vipassana was just too intense and ambitious for me.
What about you?
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Yeah, that combines TWO things I should be doing more 
. Got a rowing machine and weight bench sitting in my basement feeling neglected…
I did the type where you focus on the different parts of your body, kinda scanning through it, and while it felt great, I was never able to keep at it. Same thing with breathing based meditation. And while I agree, that they are probably very similar im essence, the day I tried transcendental meditation, something clicked, and I haven’t missed a day since, going on three years now.
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Workout is another part of my ‘keep-myself-sane’ routine 
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I don’t want to self diagnose but broadly speaking I’ve been thinking more and more the symptoms seem like a fit for me.
I often find myself bored when I have things I should be doing–I’ll sit on gear forums bored when I should be working, let the work pile up, then do it all right before I have to get it turned in. For the most part the work is fine, my career is fine.
I can’t ever seem to break myself of this cycle even though I know logically it seems better to work the other way and get a reasonable amount done everyday instead of rushing before the deadline. But every damn time I’m always rushing as the deadline rolls around. I’d say maybe 2-3 months out of the year I have a “good month” and am not rushing at the end–but there is usually a reward like a vacation or something where I know I have to get it done to have the reward.
I psychically fidget. Am certainly impulsive with money (gear). I have absolutely no short term memory (I’ve also been smoking herb for 20 years though).
I have trouble concentrating unless its in the studio then I manage to somehow hyperfocus and will spend hours reworking shit that no one will probably ever notice in my tunes lol.
Anyway. That’s my 2 cents. I might also just be a burned out old raver lol
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Yeah, physical exertion in general really helps. I kinda gave up on meditation because I found that my mind rests while exerting myself, so running is just as meditative to me as sitting down staring at a wall. I do want to start doing both though, as workplace digitalization has put new strain on my chaotic mind and every bit that helps me stay focused is more than welcome.
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Here’s a description that jumped out at me from the book I just recommended:
“a tendency to procrastinate combined with a knack for getting a week’s worth of work done in two hours”
Also this:
“You have a vision. Maybe you’ve come up with a novel technology for making an unbeatable knife sharpener. Or maybe you think you have the plot to the perfect novel. Whatever your vision, you go at it like you never have before. But then, what you’ve created…disappoints. It’s not just disappointing, but suddenly you feel it’s terrible, awful, the worst ever, and you plunge into despair.”
I do wonder whether doing lots of MDMA alters the brain chemistry around serotonin, etc. in ways that might make ADHD worse…
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Try mountain biking.
I’ve gone through a few different methods and it turns out throwing myself down a muddy hillside on a bike clears my mind completely. You can get into a very nice meditative state this way.
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