Dude, I hope you’re not drawing some weird ass mental line in your mind where you’re either a full-on, mega prolific creator who somehow magically converts every impulse into a finished work -OR- a total wallflower destined to wander the used cassette bins in the prog rock section.
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Before we talk about how to manage the impulse to create so that it doesn’t lead to unhappiness, I’d like to air out some of my laundry in solidarity with those who have felt as you have described.
When the impulse to create is stifled, blocked, misdirected, ignored, or in any other way not optimally attended to, it can result in:
- addiction to dangerous or imprudent behaviors (I’ve been banned from somewhere I shant mention for misconduct)
- eroded relationships both familial and other
- anxiety to the point of a mysterious, quickly appearing digestive disorder that lasted for almost 2 years before being resolved almost overnight. It led to daily nausea, weight loss, and a hugely constrained projection of my future - and yes, it was from too much thinking and not enough doing.
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It’s just one of those mental exercises like a koan I guess. Remember that Buddhist boy who was reported on in the National Inquirer, the one living in a cave for years without a bite of brie to eat or a drop of Pierre? He’s a top trap producer now…
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No, man, you released a linguistic bird into the wild now it’s ours to use how we want 
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Sorry to hear that and hope you’re doing well now.
It’s a weird thing, being a creative person with problems to create something meaningful.
I mean it can be so fulfilling and energizing when things are working okay but when they’re not it makes everything suck so bad.
A quote I heard from Alejandro Jodorowsky has been very beneficial for me and has helped me to trick myself out of the rut hundreds of times.
“Making art isn’t difficult but wanting to make art can be difficult”
It might sound a bit cheesy or pretentious but it has gotten me painting or making music when I haven’t been feeling it.
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I would observe the nature around me and around the world. Birds, interaction between species, growth of a flower/plant, climatic changes, … but would also observe the microscopic world and everything outside the Earth.
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…a decent birdview perspective to all, for a better tomorrow…
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That’s pure gold, actually.
My mantra that was instrumental in me picking up visual art seriously in my late 30s and being VERY happy with the results is from Julia Cameron:
“the grace to be a beginner”
If I intentionally practice allowing myself to feel the joy, curiosity, and intrigue of being a beginner in any given creative enterprise, and the experience of playing with a given medium as if it were goopy, colorful clay and I was just a kid…that can really help get past the critical, fearful, plotting mind–and back into the hands (and ears)
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Thanks! Yes, the moment I realized it was coming from “worrying about the future”, I stopped the condition in its tracks by simply ceasing to worry about the future.
I still do worry about the future, and like clockwork, the physical feelings come back… so it’s actually a very helpful and loyal barometer.
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Absolutely!!
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I was walking my dog just earlier thinking about this and listening to J. Mascis sing “I feel the pain of everyone / then I feel nothing” and thought that could be could turned into a pretty good koen. Then this woman with a fluffy puppy stopped and asked me if I had a poop bag and I rummaged though my pockets to find one and only came up with a zip-lock with a sole dog treat. Thinking about it now those few minutes were the most content I was all day.
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It’s a great song!! Yeah We Know is amazing too.
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Indeed, I like the sad lament and then it goes sideways with a more upbeat sentiment. But I was also listening to it and thinking that would be a good Depeche Mode sample but it’s probably too zany about the sound of the cork popping in the beginning but really what I meant I was most happy when I wasn’t paying attention to any of that and looking for a plastic bag for that lady to put her dog crap in
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Oftentimes it’s those surprising little moments that make one feel happiness.
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Glad you mentioned this. My old mother, who was once a Hindu nun, is watching my “art life / ADHD / self-torture” from afar and she suggested something that, to the ego feels like poison, but is really an antidote to this type of suffering:
The way to get out of the trap of thinking about your story and your problems all the time is to reach out to others and serve them.
Bombshell advice. 
It’s modernity that has allowed for a life disconnected from the group, the family, the company, the pack. The group reigns us in. As an American, I walk in the footsteps of our very own homegrown nonconformist philosopher, Emerson, and the other punks of his day. But I have to remember that even he had a crew, a tribe, a wife, etc.
As I get older, I see that discussing ones inner world more frequently and casually with others allows for feedback that puts some helpful guide rails on either side. But you have to talk with those who have a somewhat shared understanding of your motives and experience, lest they project their own onto you.
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I can get to a point with painting or guitar where I am observing what is going on and really seek out that frame of mind. It’s not there so much with electronic music maybe because of the interface? Though I hope if I keep developing an approach to these I can get to that point. Practice the technique of no technique, to butcher a Bruce Lee saying. That is to say, practice until the process is internalized.
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Recommended reading: “The practice” by Seth Godin.
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100% YES. You have put into words one of the huge reasons for not always changing gear every time a new XXXXX comes out. When one develops a relationship with their instruments whereby there is no need to stop and THINK about how to technically achieve something, the mind stays in that state of flow - and it’s glorious and restorative like some sort of vitamin I.V. / infusion for a dessicated soul.
I’m coming on 9 years with the Analog Rytm MKI as my main tool for expression and I’m effing grateful.
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I would concentrate on observing I guess
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