I literally have a meditation mantra to ‘let go of guilt’. ADHDer and I can’t get away from feeling it, however irrationally.
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Working up to a meaningful post in here as I have a lot to say… But need to get it all together and find the right moment.
I totally hear you. I’m finding less and less enjoyment with making music using machines that require a lot of setup. I end up eating up all my time with different settings and loading samples.
Maybe try some more immediate instruments. Knob per function keeps things simple.
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I agree with this, FWIW! We’re more on the same wavelength than you might think.
My ADHD is not a disorder or disease or anything purely negative as I see it. There are a lot of positive aspects of it - I’m creative, a restless thinker and seeker, need to take on many projects at any given time, and I have legit expertise in VERY different-from-each-other fields. So while it’s not classified as a “negative” trait blankly, it nonetheless is a neurological condition that provides some explanations for why I am the way I am compared to most others around me, and a condition that there’s an overwhelming amount of consensus around - not just in the realm of pure Western psychology, but backed up by the field of neurocognitive research, i.e. objectively measurable differences in the functioning of observed ADHD brains vs. non-ADHD brains.
Indeed, it’s fundamentally just a different, but no less valid, way of engaging with the world, encountering challenges and addressing them with solutions, and generally a different model for being, thinking, and doing than what the majority has encountered. In a society that fully acknowledges and caters to this particular way of thinking and engaging, and accomodates it, I would think of ADHD more or less as a superpower, and the downsides would be mildly annoying quirks at best.
But I don’t live in that society, much as I would wholeheartedly agitate for it. I live in a hypercapitalist dystopia that seems perpetually on the verge of collapse, which treats bodies and minds as automaton inputs for widget outputs and which works by min-maxing their output to the exclusion of all other considerations. Everyone in a society like that is naturally averse to capitalism (whether they know or agree about it or not), because it’s like a poison at the roots of our communities and nation-states. But people with my condition are especially capitalism-averse, so when we have to survive according to those rules AND the rules of society that does not accomodate our brains, it’s a disaster. The downsides of my ADHD are not mild quirks in such a society - they’re the reason I’ve historically been unable to hold down a job despite being extremely talented and whipsmart in my chosen field. Because I can be someone damn near the top of my profession, but if there are days where I somehow can’t seem to will myself to send a simple email that takes literally 5 minutes to compose, no matter how hard I try, then no one thinks I have any value at their organization at all.
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100000000x. I work to pay the rent, I do many art-related “jobs” for my sanity. My spouse sleeps while I work on a bajillion projects.
Much of pathology exists to shoehorn our bodies and minds into what will create the most money for others. The results of how we deal with those who exist in ways that can’t be as easily corralled into “productivity” have true consequences, of course.
The physical effects are all around us, anyone not born into whatever generational wealth could “liberate” a person from that cycle of production.
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ADHD can’t be about being bored, isn’t it?
In the wrong environment, ADHD is all about being bored.
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I totally disagree with that premise, too. Neurodiversity is still poorly understood and probably much more the “norm” than people suspect. ADHD is in no way a “disorder” in my mind, but it can cause real challenges since society is generally not oriented towards the particular way ADHD folks think and process. So if you DO have ADHD (whatever that really means), it’s not a stigma!
BTW, I am really pleased that this thread continues to be read and responded to by new people. Just finding community and sharing experience can be really empowering, especially for those of us who “discovered” our neurodiversity later in life. And I hope this applies to people on the autism spectrum and with other forms of neurodiversity–I think we have much in common, and I feel a kind of kinship with all of you!
Given the mutual obsession that brought us to this forum, we’re all fucking weirdos anyway… 
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I don’t know if I have ADHD but I do have big problems focusing… this Huberman podcast had some tips and whatnot that I found helpful.
I would agree with pretty much everything you stated.
It’s great to see that the education systems in many countries are developing their methods to be more flexible than the previously applied outright punishment for kids who have problems sitting still and paying attention to boring stuff.
Also the amount of medication that is being given to young ppl is making me question whether these doctors have lost their focus, among many other things.
There are so many ways to improve ones ability to focus and function properly and personally I think medication should be at the end of that list.
Hehehe true!! 
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Ive been diagnosed since i was around 9, tried ritalin and other meds back when i was a kid but now that im old cannabis is the best for it imho, i hate adderall (especially after seeing my partner go througha pretty intense aderall withdrawal )
What a formidable summary. And the sentence alone is art in itself.
I want to write lyrics around that for one of my next songs (if I get your permission borrowing this from you ).
Thank you for inspirational input. 
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If you would live in a hunter-gatherer community everybody would know this is because you used your superpower and recognized the sabertooth.
So you have been talking to gods. Not everybody can do that and clearly must be exhausting.
You have every right to recover.
It’s funny and sad that the idea/movement
of enlightment (think Kant) uses this spiritual term for starting to optimize the way of thinking.
Just my thoughts on that.
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This is essential! However, comparing yourself to neurotypical others as well as the continuous struggle to appear normal and function in a society that relies on paradigms that are mostly achievement-driven is mostly inevitable in day to day life. In essence this means you’re struggling with your own challenges caused by neurodiversity and have all that pressure of expected conformity imposed by large parts of society on top.
I have to admit to fall into that guilt-trap over and over again myself. Which naturally causes self-doubt and depression. Just being mindful to remember it’s not just myself and my incapabilities helps sometimes to relief the pressure.
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This is what I mean. When you look around you can see the signs of a severe crisis getting worse every day.
Of course it does not help you to function. Your healthy and mindful soul refuses to that.
THINGS MUST CHANGE!
We all have too calm down and accept our limitations. Growth can’t go on like that. And more and more people refuse to do so.
I want to talk to the gods. My gods speak to me in music.
I know close to nothing. Really close to nothing.
But this feels right.
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I’m curious to ask, even though our small amount of data won’t prove any substantial statistics - have the people here had burn-outs?
I had. Still taking me time and effort to recalibrate since the last two years. I’m not sure about all the cause and effects, but I believe there’s a correlation and even causality in the pressure for a neuro-atypical brain within our society. (Of course, also for anyone in general, burnouts seem to be very prevalent)
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We would not be taking medication if these things worked.
Trying to get medication itself is a laborious and humiliating process, repeated regularly.
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If you mean a hard breakdown with desperation and not knowing how to go any further? Then yes.
BTW: I don’t believe in the term burnout. Have you been burning (in a loving way) for things and efforts you brought that led you in such a situation.
Burnout is newspeak to me in the most dystopical sense.
This term shows how our society looks at people. Like they were conductors or so, burnt out. Repair or replace.
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I was close to burning out, but pulled myself out of toxic working conditions just in time. Still needed a good amount of time to recover without being able to do anything substantial for a few months or so.
Edit: I had and always have experienced melt-downs. Even without the “constraints” of structured working environments.
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Years ago Medical practioners called burnout as Nervous exhaustion or even a Mental Breakdown. I remember watching Hitchcocks Dial M for Murder. At the end Grace Kelly said “im going to have the most wonderful breakdown” after being acquited and escaping the hangman. I think terminology is severely lacking in Mental Health practice and as someone who works in the field extensively, i can tell you most of it is guesstimation by the Psychologists. They sort of know whats going on with your brain but are still labelling people with conditions. Mostly to satisfy the client who wants answers. Theres a long long way to go.
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