And that’s kind of the thing about addiction. It really can affect anyone, and people usually just turn to whatever is most accessible at the time, wither it’s weed, coke, k, heroin, gambling, sex, whatever. The focus of the addiction itself is secondary to the cause.
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True man, I’ve met people from every background and profession both in crack houses and rehab facilities. I’m aware this thread was more about how it may help/hinder with electronic music but it’s impossible to talk about adhd and not addiction, because it’s becoming more and more clear that there is a disproportionate amount of adhd suffers (in adulthood) who end up on drugs.
Obviously I’m not an expert, but I’ve been in two adhd specialist clinics now, and they’re tightly linked with the drug services, I have to put in negative tests when asked etc
Music is and always has been my way escape, when I used to hide in my room as a kid j had boxes of tapes and headphones, and I’ve played a bunch of instruments for most of my life. I’ve released stuff on labels, but I do it for myself. I love to improvise, that’s my preferred way to perform live. It can be risky but ultimately it’s so rewarding, and I can think on my feet musically speaking very swiftly if I need to adjust. My hyper focus is extremely useful, I just lose all track of time and what’s going on around me and get into a flow state if I like a sound or texture or beat, whatever.
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Haven’t even had time to read this yet. But I just wanted to post and say I appreciate this thread and this forum so much. Crazy how inclusive and welcoming the Elekton community is. It’s wild that there’s a chatroom for my mental illness, on a website about the instruments that I love lol.
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So I have met two psychiatrists to diagnose a possible ADHD because when I read the descriptions, it felt like someone was writing what happened inside my head. But both times the result was negative and it felt like a let down, I was instead diagnosed with “giftedness” (which is called “high intellectual potential” where I live, because it is impossible to name this without making the person who’s like that sound like an insufferable pretentious prick) which, it turns out, can result in many of the same real life problems as ADHD. They are often even diagnosed together and I still can’t help thinking that I am “on the spectrum”.
So no medication for me, although there were times I really hoped there was a pill to “be normal”, I tend to hyperfocus, obsess over stuff, but at the same time am incapable of focusing on something that doesn’t interest me, procrastinate like it’s a contest, do everything the day of the deadline and leave errors everywhere. It led to a very low self esteem, perfectionism, depression and a very high tendency to turn to easy answers and ways to cope instead of tackling the problems (alcohol, drugs and other internet addictions). Tried working out which is a bit random in its effect, and meditation which is haaaaard. Therapy too, but it’s taking a long time.
So I guess what I’m saying is, although I don’t have ADHD, I think I can grasp the toll of the symptoms, and can identify a bit with what many people said on here. So I think my relationship with music making can be relevant to this topic. And that relationship is that I can’t possibly work on the creation of a track more than an hour, if it takes longer and the novelty factor is gone, it becomes impossible for me to be interested in what I am doing and my inside critic comes knocking (“Wow, you can’t do more than that? One hour and that’s it? You quit? Booooooh”). However when comes the mixing stage, I suddenly become mister details who ends up spending months on a project, exporting dozens of versions without releasing anything for months. Anyways, anytime something happends music wise, it’s always an outburst, never a clean, patiently planned and carefully executed project. And whenever I start one, I always get bored waaaaay before I can achieve anything. That last live setup I worked on for a gig (that did not happen) was such a pain to finish! And it’s also still a big mess that I just manage to bring to an “acceptable” level before I could finally plug out everything and go back to the usual “how can I reorder my setup today?” thing.
I believe you could develop strategies to make this music thing work for you, personally I record loads of tracks in short sessions, usually one track an hour and it’s done. Fill folders with exports and go back to them from time to time to pick what I can release. I also try to forget I have to record anyting that focus on the fun/relaxing/meditative aspect of the process, instead of the imperative for a result. But it’s hard!
So I don’t know, I think reading all your messages just made me want to talk too, because I can definitely relate to many experiences here and it felt good to be among similar minds (brains?)
I hope you all take care of and are gentle with yourselves, because you are an incredible community.
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I think most creatives are neuro-atypical it goes with the turf doesn’t it?
If it causes problems then seek out help, if not then just accept it. Nowadays it is a lot easier than in the past I think.
I tend to agree with what has been said about cannabis too, I think it is (or can be) addictive in the sense that most people I know partake every day for many years, and don’t like going without, in the same sense that a tobacco cigarette smoker is addicted. But just as I know social smokers, I also know occasional cannabis smokers, like any drug, people will have different tolerances, a lot of people I know say they don’t have any problems with it, but it is clear that they do.
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I’m not a doctor (ok, I AM a doctor, but not that kind 
), but to me–whatever those psychiatrists say–you sound like you have ADHD, and you certainly don’t need some expert to validate this. My wife, who also has ADHD, was initially told by a shrink that she didn’t have it–because he didn’t understand how women often cover up the signs because of socialization. When she was retested by a more experienced psychologist her diagnosis was confirmed. The point is, this is very subjective, and nobody can look inside your head, so trust yourself!
I started medication a couple of months ago, and while I do find it somewhat helpful, it isn’t really a magic pill and I may stop. I really encourage you to read ADHD 2.0 by Ned Hallowell, which focuses on behavior and not medication anyway. You have identified one of the main issues, which is the lack of self-esteem that people with ADHD can feel. It’s also good to understand how it can affect relationships, etc.–I’ve learned to be more careful about dominating conversations, writing long emails (or discussion posts, lol!), etc.
And yes, people with ADHD are usually very smart! But we’re also often dumb about other things (when I do math in my head I make idiotic mistakes). Whether or not you have a “diagnosis,” you are the person who knows yourself best, so trust yourself, and if reading/talking about ADHD or neurodiversity helps, then I think that’s what matters most. You definitely don’t need medicine to live more comfortably with yourself. Good luck!
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I started reading two pages of ADHD 2.0 a few weeks or month back - then got distracted 
thx for the reminder
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Hello. I’d like to add a few thoughts which might possibly lead to another perspective. A few years ago I suspected being somewhere within the autism spectrum, which at that point in time seemed to give a good explanation for all that difficulties and challenges I was facing throughout my whole life. I arranged for an appointment for diagnosis, hat to wait more than a year or so for that to happen and finally had that confirmation.
While at that point in time it felt like a great relief after a year or so I started asking myself why this was so important to have that officially “certified”. And even more important: What kind of impact has this made on my way of living? Because aside from that explanation for things that happened in the past, is your individual strategy really something you need to change? Or might it also possibly be something to be embraced and deeply accepted because it makes you beautifully unique and special and not just “not normal”?
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I think it all depends on the individual. I’ve known a lot of people who have been empowered by diagnosis and have been able to use it to make positive changes.
Then there’s people like my brother in law, who use their autism diagnosis as an excuse to carry on being a twat.
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For me, having my self diagnosis (autism) being confirmed by a professional freed me of a lot of (self-)doubt and helped in accepting things without questioning myself too much. I notice - while having a diagnosis- I still feel some " impostor-syndrome" sometimes, and that professional confirmation helps to put that away and focus on finding ways of dealing with who and how I am in the situations I find myself in.
as much as it can be a comfort, I think it is important what Fin25 said above this: it shouldn’t become an excuse.
It can be, however, a perfectly reasonable explanation why something doesn’t work in a specific situation. And being able to explain things can help you to change things.
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I mean, it’s kind of both your suggestions. I believe that being able to explain your past “failures” and regrets with something that helps relieve from some of the guilt and shame can help you better live with yourself. I don’t think the idea is to change yourself but change how you perceive yourself and your own past, accept and embrace your difference so you can learn to love yourself AND put strategies in place to live a better life, with yourself and others. That doesn’t mean you have to change.
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The first part of this seems to conflict with the final statement… #doesnotcompute
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If you’re a twat … why not change? I’ve started meditating a few days ago and that already changed my spiraling negative thoughts / self doubts / focus / day routines instantly.
I’d change all the bad things if I could. I don’t see a reason to not want this. Like drug addiction e.g. … there is no reason other than the addiction (which wants you to stay sucked in) to not change it?
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I’m a full bore lunatic, but old enough that we didn’t have these fancy terms, I was always just a weirdo. It’s worked out well enough, nobody expects me to be normal for more than five minutes after meeting me so I’m off the hook altogether.
No question it’s all critical to my musical activities.
I don’t think so, changing how you perceive yourself doesn’t mean you change yourself.
I’m sorry if I did not write things very clearly, pretty difficult for me to explain myself about this but I really don’t mean that you shouldn’t, or even shouldn’t want, to change all this. I meant more that you shouldn’t have to change yourself to accept and love yourself and your past. And it’s usually by accepting this and being more gentle with yourself that you can start changing for the better.
I don’t how to explain it better, I’m sorry, whenever I try to make myself clearer, it turns out in a mess of words 
I just mean that the best way to start changing is by accepting yourself being more forgiving with your past behaviour, because it can help you tackle life with a clearer mind.
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All I’ve learnt so far: Focus on the now!
And yeah … maybe a diagnosis could help to understand the past better. But this would mean I’d focus on the wrong thing again, not?
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Sure! I think the best way to say it is that it’s much easier to focus on the now, once you’re relieved of the burden of the past. And getting a diagnosis can help a lot with that.
And this will be my last message here for a while, I feel like I’ve been talking out of my ass for the last few posts
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this thread resonates deeply with me. can’t handle reading the whole thing so I had to skip to near the end. seen a few users say that 
gonna keep checkin in to hear everyone’s experiences. Nice one 
got an add diagnosis years ago but didn’t really pursue it. becoming more clear to me now maybe I should have. just been more trynna improve the various issues myself with varying degrees of success since.
I’m. 42 now so I guess it sorta is what it is, I’m used to it mostly.
concentration span is a shadow of its former self tho. dunno what to do about that. its absolutely fuked 
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Music is like meditation. I tried meditating but I just couldnt stick to it, now I zone out while making sounds.
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