As a child I loved to draw, maybe I was not the best but I had some talent. I continued to draw up until right before high school when someone who should not have been able to influence me, looked at my drawing and said “just because you can draw a straight line doesn’t mean you’re good at art. this looks like shit”
and for whatever reason that was traumatic and I just stopped drawing.
But I started playing music. So then as an adult, I rediscovered that I could draw, and for whatever reason I was able to make progress as an artist and as a human.
The guy who told me I couldn’t draw, ironically, died some years later of a strange chronic heart failure and I heard it and still felt very bad for him and his family because I worked with his brother at the time. But ironically also, if he had not been such a prick and told me something that was so subjective but that I took so personally, I might have never become someone who creates any music - I may have given up on art for other reasons, but now I guess I can say I’ve come full circle. I do art when I want, or music when I want. And maybe I’m not a prodigy at either, but I’m happy to do them when inspired - And I think I’m better adjusted towards what criticism to listen to and what to let pass.
People who will target or take advantage of others will always be waiting in the wings to find a person whom they can influence, I can not in any way pretend to understand the motives of all people at all times. Even when I think I understand, I may be wrong.
All I really understand is that things happen for a reason, and sometimes the reason is bad, sometimes it’s good. Other times we may not know the reason until much later. But if you become a person who can adapt and (for me) absorb a criticism as an opportunity to see if there is something about myself that may ring true which I should be addressing, then it may become an opportunity for growth. But also, to recognize when the motive is simply to hurt us, is one way to let the poison pass to the ground where it becomes nullified and mixed with the other ills of the world.
There are terrible things in this world, but there are also beautiful things. I would rather contribute to the latter than the former, but no one is perfect. No one is immune. No one is truly stable.
The fucking planet spins in space, we are only held down by the force of this out of control planetary phenomenon called gravity.
For us to think our lives are under control amidst this chaos of the universe is truly a marvel of the human condition, so I’d like to use that as leverage to try my best to be as liquid as possible without losing my original form.
Truly, I think there is no wrong way to live. I just don’t always condone the way some people treat that same philosophy to make others beneath them. There is no gain which does not come at a cost but the alternative is to never progress. I’ll just continue to try my best to remember that and I hope you can continue to try your best as well.