This morning my 5 year old boy was looking out his bedroom window and he said “Daddy I can see a Policman being unstable with an Ant”
This little chap comes out with some corkers. I’m attempting to catalogue them going forward.
This morning my 5 year old boy was looking out his bedroom window and he said “Daddy I can see a Policman being unstable with an Ant”
This little chap comes out with some corkers. I’m attempting to catalogue them going forward.
My 3 year old loves to say this when trying to get her way or make a point. She says “I know, that you know, that I know! Okay?!”
Makes me laugh every time
My all time favourite: „my butt just burped“. My son when he was three.
My kiddos are just right to the point “I farted daddy!” then hysterical laughter ensues.
My daughter was five when she said something that changed my perspective of time forever. We were sitting on a train and she said: “Time doesn’t move at all, we just fall through it.”
Dang! My mind is blown. That’s deep.
When my eldest daughter was 4 , I was brushing her teeth one night. Out of nowhere she says “I could pay a soldier with a gun to shoot you, and then Mammy would be able to marry someone else”. We had a bit of a chat about the ethics of assassination, and agreed to disagree.
A couple of years later when she was 6, I reminded her of this incident. Embarrassed, she hugged me and said “Oh Daddy, I’d never shoot you!”, and then whispered “but I would kill Mammy…”
My wife and I sleep with one eye open now.
I’ve younger twin girls too.
One morning, when they were 3. I found them in my bed fighting.
Twin A (lying on the bed, bawling, pointing at her toes): “Twin B says these are her toes. They’re not, they’re my toes!”
Me: “Of course they’re your toes. Twin B, those are Twin A’s toes. They’re on her feet.”
Twin B (calmly, at the edge of the bed): “No, they’re my toes.“
Twin A (roaring and holding her toes): “NOOOO!!! THEY’RE NOT YOUR TOES!!! THEY’RE MY TOES!!!”
Twin B (calmly, walking out the door): “They’re my toes…”
(They do have proper names, but they’re unpronounceable Irish ones, so I’ll spare you.)
Anna was 4 when she told me: “,Angels are always barefoot in the fog.”
…my son spended me some of the coolest lines for song titles when he was around 4…
…dad, i feel like i’m exactly anywhere…“exactly anywhere…?”…thanx son, i gonna make this a great a hook…
Funniest thing my son said, we were sat outside the bank in the car waiting for my wife, he was about 9 at the time:
“Dad, have you ever shagged a hooker?”
I just burst out laughing, it was so random and shocking. I assured him that no I have not, and that it wasn’t the sort of thing he needs to ask
“Daddy you have all this stuff (ie gear), why don’t you do something with it?”
…
Kids say the damndest things, no?
Right for the jugular… geez kid!
In my defense shes with her mom all week and I stop all things when she comes over.
Thats my story and I’m sticking to it.
Do you put DMT on her cornflakes or what?! Last week mine asked if she could use my belly as a trampoline for her dolls. Cheeky monkey. Worked quite well to be fair. In other news, I’m on a diet.
Graduating twins this year, I have many interesting conversations over the years. One of my favorites was when asking them “why would you do this?” They’d respond “dunno, I was crazy when I did that.” Hard to disagree with a toddler admitting he may have not thought that through.
Neighbours kid, five, asked how to turn it up.
We laughed, he ran home, then came back with his iPad, and asked “is it on blue tooth or wifi?”.
On Monday morning, our 4 yr old son jumped in front of my wife during a video conference screaming “i’m playing with my weenis!!”. She was mortified … I nearly died laughing. I need to start writing down all the crazy shit he says and does. He cracks us up.
Amazing!