That’s absolutely awesome, man! I believe I’ve seen some of your Perfourmer videos! Well done, and I’d say your enjoyment certainly translated.
I had a bit of an opposite experience with teaching, first in an inner-city environment, and then with autism/ behavior support. By the time my “career” found me physically restraining people and doing paperwork more than anything approaching teaching, well, it was time to step away.
I always wrote music and played, but could never string it together to complete something. I found my job was far too emotionally taxing, and there wasn’t enough left in the tank to be a good person, and began to negatively affect my relationships. It was a pretty clear sign.
I started work on a farm, and remember the day I moved manure from here to there for 8 hours. I had joked to myself that shoveling shit was better than my teaching position. It turned out to be true. I started work at a small start-up brewery, and though the work was physically exhausting, I had so much more emotional energy, and the songs began to pour out.
Now, I’m looking for that sane/ reasonably career which will take care of my basic needs, while I complete the other three albums I have lined up.
I’ll say also that while desperation can be inspirational, when you’re in fight or flight mode, creativity suffers, in my case anyway.
Ha! I just logged in to share the same video. Could not be more well-timed. It’s like he was reading this very thread and responding to the OP. Fantastic amount of knowledge and advice in that video.
This is a wonderful story, and it totally resonates with me. And I totally agree with you (and so does the evidence!): living in crisis mode is not conducive to cognitive flexibility or creativity. Glad you’re on a path toward striking the right balance!
It would be interesting to share some resources/ plans/ inspirations here. I can say that once you take a step into the realm of art, certain doors open for you, you meet certain people along the way to aid you in your journey. Hell, it may even be some sort of natural law, something energetic, that has been mythologized through the years, and people like Jung and Joseph Campbell picked up on it. Campbell has a good theoretical understanding, his whole “Follow Your Bliss” idea is really beautiful.
I’m at a point now where I need to deal with a certain amount of failure by furthering my vision beyond fear. I was reading some Jung the other day, and he touched on this very thing:
Every one, presumably, has suffered adverse turns of fortune, but mostly they are wounds that heal and leave no crippling mark. But here we are concerned with experiences that are destructive, that can smash a man completely or at least cripple him for good. Let us take as an example a businessman who takes too great a risk and consequently becomes bankrupt. If he does not allow himself to be discouraged by this depressing experience, but, undismayed, keeps his former daring, perhaps with a little salutary caution added, his wound will be healed without permanent injury.
But if, on the other hand, he goes to pieces, abjures all further risks, and laboriously tries to patch up his social reputation within the confines of a much more limited personality, doing inferior work with the mentality of a scared child, in a post far below him, then, technically speaking, he will have restored his persona in a regressive way. He will as a result of his fright have slipped back to an earlier phase of his personality; he will have demeaned himself, pretending that he is as he was before the crucial experience, though utterly unable even to think of repeating such a risk. Formerly perhaps he wanted more than he could accomplish; now he does not even dare to attempt what he has it in him to do.
Yeah, I’m also mid-40s and this is sort of my route. Not banking on an early retirement, but living off music is definitely not in the cards.
Personally, I think I’m less likely to get burnt out on music by doing it this way. I remember hearing the famous bassist/studio musician Carol Kaye say that none of the big studio musicians even wanted to listen to music during their off time, and have heard chefs say the last thing they want to do when they are off is cook. My understanding from talking to lots of people is that the stuff that pays the bills for music is often the least fun: grinding out YouTube videos, touring, making music you don’t like for commercial projects, constant networking. Hard work for sure!
On the other hand, I have recently committed myself to going much deeper into music, and am taking instrument lessons, theory/harmony lessons, collaborating with other musicians, doing regular projects, etc. I am committed to music being one of the main driving forces in my life, but not something I need to depend on to pay the bills. I think those can be separate.
It all comes down to the individual though, and anyone that can do it full-time on their own terms is definitely living the dream!
Isn’t that a great motivator though, time or the lack of time. I find it to be atleast, because it means that I get more moments where I feel like I really miss making music instead of just grinding every day
Yeah, it’s strange how humans are wired. Limitations often end up being a good thing.
Right now I’m studying the flute and because of my living situation I have to go to a nearby practice space if I want to practice (for the most part). It’s surprising how that act of going somewhere not only makes it more fun, but also makes me more productive when I’m there because I pay for an hour and can only go so often.
While I could practice my electric guitar or bass anytime I want with headphones, I take that more for granted and they often sit there on the stand unplayed. Don’t even get me started on software instruments, which start to feel disposable.
me too