My Euro rack is on the back burner for a little while. Not because it’s a problem but because I don’t have time for the exploration involved if I want to make music.
My plan when I bring it back out:
Normalize tons of my Eurorack by soldering a bunch of wires between modules on the back. Hopefully I’ll be able to just turn it on and play without patching and then break connections by patching the front.
Problem solved? Maybe.
BTW! I’ve got some really good modules that could solve all your problems. I’ll give you the first few really cheap
I bought and sold an Erica Synths Drone system and a Make Noise Shared System. They were amazing but each time they fueled a hunger that felt unhealthy for me. I really like the open ended idea of modular synthesis but the very nature on the interoperability of modules made me somehow less creative. Much like how with a lot of vst instruments and working with some daws can lead to a choice paralysis, the lack of fixed routing made me feel lost. It took away all the advantages I’d found in hardware with muscle memory. Creativity in limitation is a very real thing as loathe as I am to admit it because I’ve always wanted the most extreme unlimited music and methods of making it.
This is not the thread for it, but I’m curious about this kind of modding, only on a theoretical level because I know nothing about electronics and cannot solder. It must be highly dependent on the design of the particular modules involved. I imagine the semi-normalled part is the most standard?
The jacks would have to be the type that can have normalizations broken by patching, though most these days have that kind.
Agreed.
I’ll bring it up again when I start filtering my Eurorack back into my setup. You’ll get the usual documenting of my project somewhere on the forum in the future
The problem with Euro is that the market is deeply illiquid.
Sure, if you have MATHS or a QMMG or an early Harvestman module, you can name your price and it will sell immediately. Almost anything else takes you into a narrow niche, and the twenty other people interested in the same module are scattered around the world.
I tried to address this by focusing on DIY, but that put me at the mercy of whoever was interested in doing PCB and panel runs at the time and generally excluded SMD.
If I can make it work financially and physically, it would be great to have a wall of modules, and an ever growing and evolving patch. But more realistically, I can probably get all the sequencing I need out of Numerology and all of the sound generation out of a small handful of MIDI synths, many of which I already own.
For the case where I absolutely have to have analog knobs controlling FM and filters, there are things like Syntrx or the Moog and Makenoise semimodulars. They all have enough CV or MIDI to be controlled by Numerology.
@Fin25 thank you, this thread had me thinking all day about my eurorack. I started out last year wanting to put together a small synth rack to accompany my other gear. It then changed to a performance rack. I got a bigger rack and have spent months juggling modules.
At first the options were a good thing but now it’s just an endless gas. Before gas was few times a year when something came out that filled a gap, now it’s every day because of endless module options.
I can’t afford expensive gear so it’s small purchases and trying to keep costs down but still ive spent more than usually do. I’ve an itb setup for producing that hasn’t changed dramatically in 20 years and that’s always there, hardware is always a luxury add on I buy for fun and trying new stuff. Euro is an addiction that I see no end to.
Anyhow I’m reducing case size, keeping a handful of modules that will let me have a live sampler groovebox thing as thats what I was thinking of buying in hardware.
So thanks for sharing, I’m going back to my philosophy of use what you have and limit my purchaes. And make some fukin music
My God how I am asking myself the same questions about my eurorack obsession and what it means about my brain and the mental health problems I already know I have (and try desperatly to fix with therapy, medidation and exercice)
To be quite honest, having a lot to feel grateful for does not mean you shouldn’t be allowed to complain about your mental health problems and the conditions you did not chose to have. I feel it is kind of toxic and detrimental to deny yourself this right and that this mindset is part of the reason many people don’t seek the help they need because they would feel guilty to complain.
I would totally understand seeing you complaining about such stuff, it’s hard.
The thing that i find amazing with modular is , it doesn’t matter how big the case , a small table top thing or a full wall… 99 % of people seem to get more or less the same sounds out of it . But i get it , it looks great and hands on is loads of fun , but you could buy a simple mono synth and maybe a sherman filterbank and be done with it .
I’m trying not to complain, I don’t like complaining. I’m not one for dwelling on problems, I like to deal in solutions.
I’m very lucky, I’m better off than most, so I have to put my struggles in perspective, the way my brain works it actually helps me to do it this way, as as soon as I start to go down the route of complaining, it increases the danger of triggering the dreaded grandiose self-image god complex, and that way true madness lies.
Everyone’s got their own ways of dealing with their shit, all coping mechanisms are valid, as long as you’re not hurting those around you, do what you need to do to keep going.
Alright, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it is out of care and concern.
To me thinking you can handle stuff yourself by coping and keeping quiet regarding mental health is, in a way, the real god or hero complex. You wouldn’t say such stuff for any other health problem when there are specialists that can help you get better.
So I understand that everyone has their own way, but I just want to alert you that it seems you are denying yourself some precious help because you feel you have to be strong by yourself and don’t deserve it because some people have it worse than you.
Again, this is out of care to a valuable member of our community from another obsessive and mentally troubled member.
And as I don’t want to stick my nose too far in others’ problems, especially when it is unrequited, this is my last comment about this.
Thanks for your concern, it really is appreciated.
I may not have explained myself so well. I’ve not explored getting professional help for a lot of reasons, the main one being that, based on years of experience both witnessing and cleaning up after the way the NHS abuses people with mental health issues, I made a conscious choice to sort it out without their “help”.
My coping mechanisms have been working well for over 15 years, but there’s been a convergence of barriers this year that have left me unable to indulge in my usual routines. It is this that has lead to me ramping up a bit and being a bit silly. I’m not in any sort of mental health crisis, just lost a bit of discipline and started back down the road towards a crisis. Luckily, my wife was able to both recognise, point out and correct the behaviour before it got too far out of hand and we’ve spent the last couple of days working out a new routine so I can get myself right again.
Of course, if things deteriorate and I can’t manage it, I’ll have to get outside help, but I’m not at that point yet. I’m very aware that I can’t manage this myself, without the support of my wife, I’d have killed myself years ago. My wife’s boyfriend before we got together was quite depressed, to the point that the NHS saw fit to give him electro shock therapy. He’s still depressed, but now he has to cope with trying to remember where he lives too. My wife is happy and agrees with my choices to not seek help up to this point and she’d be the first one to tell me should that cease to be the case.
Alright, I can totally understand your point of view with your experiences and see that you are cared for by people who know you way better than I (we) do, so I am happy to shut up!
I also feel the last few modules I bought are my last attempt to justify eurorack in my life and that if it doesn’t bring any joy, I’ll go your way, sell everything and go back to enjoying simpler, cheaper and healthier way to make music (and add Modulargrid to my websites black list)
The right help can be life saving, sadly it’s not always the right help you get and there are countless horror stories of people being let down by the system.
I worked in disability support for years and some of the so called support I witnessed was shocking. I now teach and co ordinate students which involves pastoral care and its took years for me to find a functional system and support staff that can be effective with my students and their needs.
It’s good to talk and share your mental health issues but we have seem to have become focussed on its good to talk whilst it’s important to remember its also great if we had a funded, professionally ran support system but the nhs is underfunded and so many are being failed. Not the fault of under pressure staff but those in power who can afford private doctors while being happy that most can’t
In my op i wasn’t suggesting not to moan, moan away I say
Very interesting thread. Glad you have made the next right decision for you @Fin25.
I have a lot of similarities, the self destructive behaviours, the ego driven god complex (that I’m an amazing musician), the denial about behaviours that are harmful to myself and others. I quit drinking 13 years ago and this no doubt saved my life. Everything else I continue to work on/struggle with!
Regarding Eurorack I could sell all of mine tomorrow and the music production part of life would be objectively no different for me. I could clear off some debt, buy a better car, pay for a holiday in the sun. But I can’t bring myself to do it - I’ve collected some fairly rare/esoteric modules that do unique things (cyclebox II & expander, benjolin, synchrodyne & expander, and desktop units such as Grendel drone commander, FX like buzzbox, meatbox etc) and I’m clinging on to the hope that one day I’ll learn to use them and finish some of the projects I’m constantly starting.
The other reason for not selling is that I know I would clear out, get back to square one, be financially and mentally better off (and probably creatively too), and then start the whole obsessing/buying cycle again, costing more money and mental health.
Regarding GAS I suffer from this less than I used to because I’ve reached a point where I have a lot of bases covered with the kit I have, and finally recognise that I can’t spend more money on this just now (more to do with financial limitations than any willpower of my own). I don’t think it will ever go away completely though, there is still a gear wish list of course.
Thanks to everyone who has posted here, it does me good to think about this stuff instead of just pushing it down.
great story. its impressive how self aware and willing to take responsibility for your actions you seem to be. i admire that
so the pro2 was so versatile that it did almost anything you wanted? that was kind of the conclusion i came to when i sold my very small 84hp rack. that i could actually make more music with just a polysynth and a sampler. its nice to have the cool things and workflow options eurorack provides, but i ultimately spent way too much time making non-musical weird textures. which is cool, but its not something i can justify spending that amount of time and energy on. i think another problem is that if you really want to build something that takes advantage of all of the cool workflows you want to achieve like building sequences out of logic and crazy chains of modulation and utilities, then you have to get a very big system. even just getting all of the tools a polysynth offers in eurorack can get very costly. so when modules are generally $200-$1000, it’s not very practical
i know this isnt the case for everyone and eurorack is an extremely flexible tool for sound design and music creation, but my experience was similar, with a much much smaller budget/credit line. or at least i can to a similar conclusion. and i think some undiagnosed or mild ocd/add-like behavior definitely is at the root of a lot of the time i spend obsessing over the next piece of gear rather than making music. I also dealt with opiate addiction which really warped the way my brain handles financial rationalizations
anyway, glad to hear this. very inspiring. sorry i cant buy any of your stuff, or i would
The ending cracked me up; you’re one funny bastard. Try never to lose that sense of humour.
I’d encourage everyone to be creative at least once in their lives. It sounds like you’ve chosen to stop spending and start being creative again. I wish you all the success in your next endeavour.
Im responding to your original post after reading the whole thread and i just wanted you to know that this piece of your writing really resonated with me.
It really reminded me of a friend of mine who passed away several years ago and who I still think about constantly. Born in Bristol, grew up in Bristol, hated Bristol. I wont give you his life story, but he wrote all the damn time and was really good at it. Writing about his decade of crack addiction, writing about his love of design, writing about the drinking game he and i made up for the 5 hour version of Das Boot.
At any rate, your writing voice reminds me of my dead friend.
As far as the subject matter, i dont know shit about Eurorack, but ive had some of the most formative relationships with women in my life who all had undiagnosed bipolar disorder at the time, and I, in all my infinite wisdom, could not see that at all.
One ex-girlfriend got ahold of me recently and started talking about her diagnosis as if it was something i already knew about, and i kept quiet and listened and i could see it all laid out so very clearly.
Of course… those times she would be on the manic upswing she would be taking on 15 different projects at once and knocking them out of the park. Just slaying.
Duh.
How could i not see that? And the downs? Jesus fucking Christ they were low… Days of hardly moving. Drinking… smoking cigarettes in bed.
Hearing her talk about how she would give her left tit for a manic phase, but the meds removed the best part of the disorder and left her with only the lows, which are managed by another, different bottle of pills.
I reached out to a mutual friend of ours after i got off the phone with her (my high school sweetheart, first love) and she told me about her diagnosis, then revealed the diagnosis of yet another Ex of mine, and in one afternoon i found out that this trinity of formative relationships were with people who were all working their way to a bipolar disorder diagnosis and im just the dummy who couldnt see it or help when i was with them.
There is no real tie in here with synths, or anything…
I was just reaching out to let you know that your writing, the main way i feel i know you, really stirred some things up in my brain.
Youre good at it. You have a voice, and a great sense of humor.
As far as the Eurorack goes, id say you made some great music with it and now youre moving on. Call it a win, dude… i bought a few of your albums, afterall, and i know im not alone.
Also, good for you for seeing what was going on for what it was and taking the steps to correct it.
Should you ever want to collaborate on music again, im only a few irritating computer manouvers away.
T
