Dancing, at my age

The Lounge General Discussion
#1

Hi,
I used to love a dance, when younger. I’d go out to and dance at…anything, Acid, house, acid house, techno, dubstep, drum and bass. I liked to dance. And by dance, I mean move around to music, I had no “moves”.

I’m nearing 50. I miss dancing. The only places I dance now are in the kitchen and my room, where there are stereos. Sometimes at a friends house, in their kitchen.

I would like to go out dancing again. But I’m usually asleep by 11pm these days! Also, I don’t want to go out and be cool, and dress nice, and be seen, and buy 10 quid drinks. I just want to dance for a couple of hours, and go home…

I guess…questions…do you see folk my age out dancing now? I’m in Leeds, how do I find nights that start early…play music I like (I don’t even know genres!) Hmmmm…

Do I become a organiser for over 35s early doors dance night? This generation surely all used to dance?

Sorry for the vague conversations starter:

TL;DR:

  • Are you over 30, do you still go out dancing?
  • Are you over 40? Do you still, or have you re-started going out dancing?

Best
Russell

EDIT: I collected a couple of links since posting:

More links:

(this one maybe confirms @BLKrbbt’s feelings) The health case for raving in your 40s and 50s

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#2

https://theoldredbusstation.com/

Shut up and dance

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#3

Sounds a bit dodgy…
Says they serve vegan food.
Not a recruitment front for a cult is it?
:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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#4

I’ve been meaning to go along to one of these events at some point, apparently they’re worldwide now?

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#5

I’m all for Electronic nights during the day.
With abstract dancing stuff, but also some noise.
And not too loud please, I like to actually hear the music, or, well, delicate noise.
And with decent level beverages please. And health food.

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#6

I know theres a scene in UK and a festival in Spain for/by 1st gen UK househeads.

#7

I seem to remember hearing about this a while back too.

#8

This is interesting, because I am dealing with this right now.

For context, i am a 45 year old disabled veteran with PTSD. I am a US Marine who served in Iraq as a helicopter mechanic with alot of indirect fire… this crippled me coming home, with aggression and paranoia, that took me years of therapy to finally go back to school and be in a small group of people. I graduated last year, and the crowd was even bigger…

Something clicked and I think earning the degree, and doing everything needed of me dispite some setbacks made me realize that I can go out, and there isn’t any ever present danger to my well being by being out amogst strangers, WITH THE CAVEAT, that I have to leave at a moments notice if I feel uncomfortable. So sometimes I buy tickets to an event, and if Im having a bad day PTSD wise, I skip the event. Money wasted, or not, because the oppurtunity still exists.

So cut to me being a raver and a bass head… I decided at 45 to go out to every show I could, and make up for all the lost time self isolating.

So my answer… it depends on the venue. Sometimes an act i really want to see only comes to a club. Going out to clubs sucks as an older person. Everyone is in their twentys, and I have NO Place there. Bouncers try to discourage you from being there and it feels desperate… even if you keep to yourself, because all I have to do is look for another 40 year old there, trying to prey on a young gilr, and I am lumped in with them.

Now, if its a basement club and real grimey, then its better. If its a huge festival… its even better, and as long as you dance with reckless abandon, and really enjoy yourself, and ESPECIALLY if you keep to yourself, then a wierd by product is that hot girls will usually see that your a safe zone to be around and also dance without worrying if someone gonna run up on them and grind on them.

I am a little overwieght, and my hair is white from stress, so i look older than 45.

But I also dress in all black, study art and produce music, so I try to come off as a staple of the industry. So if you do go out to a bigger venue, or the right club, or act… act as if you own the room, and just focus on the music and letting yourself be free…

Just pick your battles, and be prepared to leave if you feel too out of place… and avoid clubs on the weekends at all costs.

Always leave before its over, and always stay out of the crowd.

Or as @Fin25 said…

Shut up and Dance.

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#9

Thanks for sharing your story. To add to my tale, given your openess, I am autistic and can get seriously freaked out fast, and also need to be able to leave as soon as I need to leave.

Thanks for the solid advice about what not to do and where not to go. I appreciate it. And kudos for your journey and recovery, I can’t imagine…respect!

Cheers

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#10

Dont forget to dress in all black… Don’t dress up… and wear comfortable shoes… Its a weird psychological trick, try to look like a roadie or a bouncer, and you will be overlooked for the most part, and I feel like that should be the main goal.

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#11

Serious suggestion this.

Book yourself a cheap flight to Berlin, stay for a Thurs-Sun.
Go to bed at 11pm and set your alarm for 4am… get up and go to some clubs. Dance.

It’s a straight forward and achievable life experience to have. Then see where you want to go from there.

Also, it’s always worth remembering that no one gives a shit what you’re doing in any social situation as long as you’re not affecting anyone else. It’s a liberating mindset to possess (and one that I don’t have myself but would like to).

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#12

…funny one…

i’m already in the half century club and i still dance…but even sober, i don’t get tired around eleven…

but i was my whole life and still are a proffessional teenager…it’s still part of my job to whiggle my hips and shake my ass along with the music i perform…so, sorry, i got no real advice for u, apart from the good old tip…ur never too old to dance…if u still feel it, ur alive and real…

no need to end up as mick jagger…

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#13

That would be the trick!

This is a great idea…better still if I can find one or two like minded experimentors to join me…

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#14

DO THIS. I lived in NYC, and it has the same kind of culture, where it niche crowds all over… especially burner crowds, which were crowds that went to burning man, which are basically middle aged affluent hippies that liked festival music. I feel like Berlin has the same accessibility.

and the not affecting anyone else thing is the most important thing… you truly have to keep to yourself and be fine. As soon as you reach out to someone else for any reason, you break the spell… leave it to the youth.

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#15

When I used to live in Adelaide there was a space called “The Reading Room”. It was a Renew Adelaide project. Council supported use of long term empty commercial spaces. It was a hole in the wall open through the day with old books, seating and some music on. Sometimes they had graphic art on display but the big pull was about 4:30-6pm local DJ’s would come in and play… the lights were on, the doors were open and it was free… there was no alcohol just a room with the lights on shoulder to shoulder with people dancing after uni or on their way home from work.

The Reading Room, Circa 2012.

I guess the moral of my story is you might be able to find a non-traditional opportunity.

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#16
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#17

This place sounds amazing. I want one

#18

MFSB in Edinburgh comes to mind. Daytime clubbing institution run by Yogi Haughton.

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#19

My mental trick is to always find a good “reason” to be there. If your focus is on the music and you adjust to your surrounding and atmosphere, you are usually fine. Knowing the stuff (synth, drums, productions) also helps if anybody comes for a chat. Organizers often have to deal with drama, intoxication and sexual crap, so if you can enjoy the night without creating any issue, they usually like that.

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#20

I moved to London in my early 40s. Went clubbing a number of times by myself.

I would to go to bed at 11PM, and get up at 1AM and then go out. Dance until 6 or 7 when the first trains were starting to run anyway, so perfect timing.

I’m fairly shy anyway, so would keep to myself and just dance. Never had any problems from bouncers or the young crowd. One time a group of young people next to me (mixed men and women) opened their circle and invited me to join. They were from the north of England, so obviously much more friendly than Londoners anyway. :grin:

I did find that a number of young people would approach me asking if I had some pills. Probably thought the only reason such an old person was there was to sell drugs. :joy:

I’m 50 now, and kind of feel like I’ve crossed a threshold. Not sure if I feel up to it anymore…

But I definitely recommend anyone to do it. Nothing to clear your head like a good night out dancing your ass off, even when you’re getting on.

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