This is interesting, because I am dealing with this right now.
For context, i am a 45 year old disabled veteran with PTSD. I am a US Marine who served in Iraq as a helicopter mechanic with alot of indirect fire… this crippled me coming home, with aggression and paranoia, that took me years of therapy to finally go back to school and be in a small group of people. I graduated last year, and the crowd was even bigger…
Something clicked and I think earning the degree, and doing everything needed of me dispite some setbacks made me realize that I can go out, and there isn’t any ever present danger to my well being by being out amogst strangers, WITH THE CAVEAT, that I have to leave at a moments notice if I feel uncomfortable. So sometimes I buy tickets to an event, and if Im having a bad day PTSD wise, I skip the event. Money wasted, or not, because the oppurtunity still exists.
So cut to me being a raver and a bass head… I decided at 45 to go out to every show I could, and make up for all the lost time self isolating.
So my answer… it depends on the venue. Sometimes an act i really want to see only comes to a club. Going out to clubs sucks as an older person. Everyone is in their twentys, and I have NO Place there. Bouncers try to discourage you from being there and it feels desperate… even if you keep to yourself, because all I have to do is look for another 40 year old there, trying to prey on a young gilr, and I am lumped in with them.
Now, if its a basement club and real grimey, then its better. If its a huge festival… its even better, and as long as you dance with reckless abandon, and really enjoy yourself, and ESPECIALLY if you keep to yourself, then a wierd by product is that hot girls will usually see that your a safe zone to be around and also dance without worrying if someone gonna run up on them and grind on them.
I am a little overwieght, and my hair is white from stress, so i look older than 45.
But I also dress in all black, study art and produce music, so I try to come off as a staple of the industry. So if you do go out to a bigger venue, or the right club, or act… act as if you own the room, and just focus on the music and letting yourself be free…
Just pick your battles, and be prepared to leave if you feel too out of place… and avoid clubs on the weekends at all costs.
Always leave before its over, and always stay out of the crowd.
Or as @Fin25 said…
Shut up and Dance.