Revisiting a familiar struggle from another angle with some slightly better insight.
I’m working on a medley album, a continuous set of songs that go together in a certain order to be presented as a single piece.
I started it a couple years ago, when I bought my Model:Cycles. It was originally meant to be a bunch of practice patterns. It grew into something with an identity…a typical progression.
I performed that set of patterns a few times, and generally got a good reception, especially the first couple of times when it got everybody dancing. We were doing open mics in a parking lot - I have some really good memories from that. I think by the 3rd or 4th time people were expecting it to be more fleshed out and the response was polite. It didn’t have the same impact with the same people and I really didn’t know where else it could be appreciated so I haven’t performed it anywhere else yet. Still trying to figure out what it means and what it is, but that’s a different problem.
So, sure, I decided it needed to be finished and released. I’m fleshing it out finally. I have plans to add vocals to some of the songs, I added a nice finisher, and I have a general idea of how to extend many of the patterns into the intended 2-3 minute sections. The times when FILL mode is going to be activated, when I’m going to mute and unmute what, when I’m going to use CONTROL ALL for transitions and so on.
It quickly dawns on me: I’m doing a computer’s job. There is nothing about this that remotely resembles human expression. Perhaps in parts where I twiddle knobs or diddle on a keyboard. I certainly can’t break away from the script much on this one, not just because I’ve figured out what the “best” script is, but it’s just not that kind of set of patterns where pretty much any combination of tracks sound good. I also definitely am going to want to break out of the 6 tracks and it’s not clear if after I get the tracks into the DAW, if I’ll layer stuff over with the Cycles or use my other synths. Well it doesn’t matter in the studio, right? OK fine, it’ll be a great listening experience.
But what is it that I’m recording? Certainly not something I’ll be able to recreate live in any sense that is meaningful. Sure I can figure out something arbitrary to do along with the backing track, but there’s that nagging feeling again. It doesn’t feel authentic, true.
I’m sure lots of people on here know what I’m talking about. Why perform live at all when you can sequence and record the whole thing down to audio? This simulation of things that can’t happen - or rather, don’t need to happen, not in real life - it goes from idea to remnant with no relevant intermediate step. They don’t need an origin in the real world, except for the moment I thought of it and set it in digital stone. How you get it into the box; that doesn’t matter. I’ve always reserved a distaste for this idea. I compartmentalize these aspects using thoughts like “a computer is best suited for this part” and “I’m doing this solo so it needs some kind of accompaniment.” But what is the central part that it is accompanying me for?
I suppose this reveals my traditionalist bent, despite my focus on electronic instruments. (Though I do plan to properly learn the guitar very soon.) To me, music is performed by humans - even when we press “Play” - and we record that down to a medium so that we can re-live that performance whenever we wish.
My roommate has no such romantic views. They perform a lot of indie rock in their band, and do experimental live stuff from time to time, but they also make a lot of electronic music and it’s always a studio affair, carefully and happily crafted without a hint of existential concern. Well, I want my music to “feel” like it happened, or that it could happen, or that I could make it happen, in the real world. I’m never going to concede this, to do so for me would be the ultimate submission to musical disillusionment. But I’m also a pragmatist … so I pocket the idea and try to slowly bridge this chasm created by people like my roommate. After all, once the audio experience is created, that’s what matters right? That’s the thing you can transmit, sell, manipulate. You can make up whatever origin you want. This worrying truth goes against every fiber of my being.
My roommate has said they admire my adherence to my philosophy. But they don’t envy the obstacles placed by the landscape of gear that I have to deal with every step of the way. It seems that in following the idea that the computer can take over some duties we give up some amount of control (in my view, way too much) so that the less talented of us can just hit a button and perfection streams out of a box. That precision becomes a genre and performance skill is replaced by a sort of director’s skill. Like out-sourcing manufacture overseas. We conjure the blueprint, and sit back while a slave computer makes it happen.
It should be obvious now why I gravitated to Elektron products. They represent a desire to seize back control, to be “hands on”.
I’m not sure where this is going. Part of it is that I’m not that skilled in performing things live with the Cycles or Machinedrum. Especially with the Cycles and its reluctant pads and crap-shoot knobs. They’re definitely designed to be instruments but they’re not as easily expressive as what I’d expect an instrument to be. I like aftertouch, mod wheels, faders, things that have a direct physicality. With Elektron devices it can feel like I’m one step removed and should make friends with a certain degree of unpredictability. So I opt to record bits into a DAW track by track, mostly sequencing notes, automating parameters where needed, because as far as I’m concerned it isn’t possible to do what I hear in my head in a totally live context.
There’s more, but I think I’ll leave it there for now and see what discussion it sparks. I’ll continue the train of thought to see where it leads.