I think you just don’t want to enjoy yourself.
We all have thoughts thanks for sharing yours!
I’m a lichess guy myself.
It’s spelt Lychees.
Delicious.
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PARKLIFE
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Procrastination is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (forumlife)
Addiction my man. That looking for something is the anticipation that a lot of these devices and their apps are meant to condition…something of relevance, something meaningful and inspiring is JUST about to come around… it’s a quick-fix dopamine loop similar to the gambler’s high, sucks big time.
And I write this as someone with an average 8.5 hours per day of screen time on my phone alone…ie I know EXACTLY what you’ve described here.
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I’m not even on apps. I do pure internet. Why settle for tar when you can have a poppy field?
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Same! you have more diversity in your habit than I do…for me it’s like 3.5 websites that make up “the loop”…jebiga 
I work with this neuroscientist and she’s laid out to me how notification systems on phones bundled with the emotional associtation that come with them (msg from people we love / like, association of opportunity, connection and belonging etc) prime our brains towards an anticipation bias in relationship to our phones…repeated little dopamine releases in the anticipation of something positive or relevant occuring (very similar to gambler’s dopamin hit just before the dice falls)… It’s some wicked shit.
I tend to be quite good with disrupting habits & addictive behaviour…I encourage you to just explore that feeling of anticipation & “want” and really look at it…what is it that I’m ACTUALLY expecting to “find” or encounter as i repeat the loop? What am I ACTUALLY looking for or - better yet - WAITING for? What’s driving me to repeat the loop in the current moment? What in the next moment? And now? Etc etc No judgement, just observation…it’s amazing, it’s like trying to catch a glimpse of something that shifts out of sight every time I turn my head to look at it straight…anyway, that observation practice for me usually opens the door to get out of the loop with some energy and aliveness instead of pushing it to the edge until I “fall out of it” from exhaustion…
I’ve built this bad habit over years, then realised it was an “involuntary habit” and one that was harming me, so I got off it but recently built it up again out of a lack of awareness. Point being though, it’s a habit and can be countered.
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Maintaining being present is very difficult with these things that are meticulously engineered to distract and condition us against it.
It’s difficult online in general. For example it’s so easy to get into arguments with a strangers over stuff that’s not even that important.
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i was literally just thinking, well what now? better go back to elekronauts, and then this is the first topic i see.
i did have a productive day but the slop needed more pushing and here i am.
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“No browsing social media or youtube until noon.” This does include Elektronauts. I’ve let go of many social media sites completely to great happiness. Main ones being reddit, twitter and instagram.
I’ve been reducing my internet habits by stages and this is the latest. Stop feeding your brain on these sites, there is better food in books, creative endeavours (press those buttons that make music!), or even just sitting and being.
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I was speaking to a Mindfulness expert recently and he was saying about the importance of being present, living in the now and not living in the past or the future.
It’s really highlighted to me that all of the procrastination, GAS etc is just an example of trying to live in the future to escape pain in the present.
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Roll call: HERE
Let’s see what we got today, …Elon, FTX, Sam Bankman-Fried, Elon, Rebuplicans, Elon…
The internet is so fucking lame.
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Amen to that. I spent a small fortune on gear this last 6 months to directly attempt alleviation of stress around grief. It created more problems than answers although hopefully now I can start having fun with all those cheeky new purchases.
Practicing Buadism has made enjoying life in the here and now possible. I just walked my dog as the sun rose, saw some deer frolicking, and I’m sipping freshly brewed coffee while I extoll the virtues of Dear Leader.
Snoke ‘erry day brother. Friggen care.
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…we’re all first or second gen with THAT second retina…glued to our faces by “free” will…
since i’m more like first gen when it comes to all this, my daily habits with online content are finally slowing down, fading out and away…
still way too much, though…
but it takes me roundabout half an hour on utube, a few quick jumps into HERE and a little fake convienience check up on insta until i realize on daily bases again and again…i really better stop consuming to start more creating, me stupid bitchprick…
so THIS HERE is my last tech talk music nerd home since i quitted logic user and this damned tech reddit called gearslutz…
and i have not seen facebook since ages…
i start doing bandcamp more frequently and besides that, all my worldwideweb addictions start to sobering out slowly but surely…
everyone who finds him/herself sticking/glued to various screencontent more than two hours a day should really come up with some serious second thoughts…
life’s too short to just waste too much time with naked consumerism…
but damn, all our life is circeling around 2nd hand emotions and experiences, we got from screencontent, our natural born second retina impressions…
i mean, anybody remembering the days, when talking about the weather was kind of hideous…?
nowadays, most things we talk about goes like…have u seen this and that…next season bullshit…
damned, we’re doomed…but we call it progress anyways…don’t we…?
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I narrowed my internet wandering to this place, but I still feel like it’s too much time given to internet and should restrain myself more.
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About 90% of the internet seems intent on convincing us that it’s the apocalypse.
Gotta have a dream though right…?
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